A short self-examination you can do at home…
Who can forget Dane Reynolds’ effortless sweep of everything bad from last week? According to Reynolds, cities are soulless voids, Kelly Slater is too serious about a bat-and-ball game, the WSL’s Instagram exploits surfing and so on.
Dane is a great champion and while he isn’t surfing’s golden pet anymore, his opinions on surf do cut heavily.
Toward the end of his little short, he defines a kook as this:
“I hate…kooks. And I don’t mean that, it has to do with your level of surfing. I define ‘kook’ as a lack of awareness, someone who is utterly unaware of their surroundings, unaware if they’re cutting in line or being obnoxious or annoying people around them. That’s a kook.”
This definition is an overhead smash, I think.
And it made me consider other behaviours that define a surfer as a high-level kook.
- Still arguing the point that rotations must be counted exactly as per the geometric scale. Air 360s instead of 540s, 810s instead of 720s. If the science of climate change is settled, as is common opinion, we can now say the same for airs.
- Examining the judges sheets at a local boardriders’ event and claiming your threes should be three-fives etc.
- Behaving as if the world has suddenly fallen off its axis if a beginner tumbles off his board near you.
- You say there are surfers at your local beach better than guys (and girls) on the WCT and that a surf industry conspiracy keeps ’em out of the spotlight.
- Going leashless on a crowded day. “I never fall off.”
- Turning sessions at remote reefs into some sort of WQS heat, paddling for everything, sighing at people missing waves, grunting etc.
- Like the princess and the pea, you say you can feel even minute differences in your surfboard.
- An obsession with personal surf shots.
- You self-identify as a “surfer”.
- You refuse to travel anywhere unless there’s a coastline with rideable waves
Are you a high-level kook?